I love that you tackled this! As someone who spent lots of time trying to get ppl to respect me when I worked in tech…I think people start taking you seriously when you start taking yourself seriously first! Meaning, you have to create the conditions for your own success.
If being taken seriously = no one ever underestimating you, then that’s not reflective of reality. Many people will discount your experience, think you’re incapable, be a hater, or even shut you out of opportunities — but none of that means they’re worthy gatekeepers or that you need for them to change in order to be successful. It’s quite the opposite, you likely need to ignore them and keep going. People are wrong all the time.
And I love your analysis of this trend. I’m also wondering why this is bubbling up right now? What do you think?
Anyway, it all made me think of an extreme example but I’m imagining Beyonce shrinking bc that critic said she’s no Ashanti 20 years ago!! He was entitled to a (bad) opinion but the tragedy would have been letting it become a truth.
Thank you for digging deeper into it with me! I believe the way the workforce is evolving has people scrambling for legitimacy, whether that's inside a corporation to avoid getting laid off or by starting a business. We want the powers that be to see us as valuable so we will be safe. I encourage us to build our own toolkit of what we are good at and care about, which we can use to level up instead of waiting for someone to knight us. External validation feels good, but it's fleeting.
OMG, yes, I will never forget that. That critic was loud and wrong about Beyonce, but she was too busy working to give in to it, and look at her now.
This was a magical read. And Ashley is totally right about ignoring worthy gatekeepers and others’ declarations of your worth or value to become successful. That was my biggest lesson for 2025. People are wrong all the time. Just…deciding they are right (when often you have way more data about your own capabilities or the situation) is one of the biggest mistakes a person can make!!!
Thank you, Ali. “People are wrong all the time” is really sticking with me. It can feel so hard to keep going when it seems like we’re being overlooked or when the gatekeepers aren’t paying attention. But that sovereign belief in our own capabilities is often enough to carry us through. I love seeing people who were once counted out succeed! Proof that stopping would have been the only real loss.
SHELBI! The way I almost brought up Emily's note about "girlboss 2.0" today in our conversation.
Felt deeply so much of what you said here about wanting to feel "legitimate." HOWEVER, knowing you (and with a Brick no less!!!), you'll be courted by legacy companies + hot-on-the-scene newcomers alike in no time.
Look at us! We are going to have an excellent 2026. I can't wait to read your piece! Also, rooting for you and your husband. Salt's Cure is a big deal!
This is so interesting to me because, for so long in my 20s, I wanted to be taken seriously. I was the youngest person to become the editor of my magazine group, and every day I was underestimated by sources, publishers, peers. Now, in my 30s, I don't really care about being taken seriously. In fact, I don't want to be taken seriously at all. It feels exhausting, and like putting on a mask.
There is something to being underestimated and wanting to prove people wrong, but it can be exhausting. I am focused on working hard on the things I actually care about, so I don't even have time to consider who takes them seriously.
I love that you tackled this! As someone who spent lots of time trying to get ppl to respect me when I worked in tech…I think people start taking you seriously when you start taking yourself seriously first! Meaning, you have to create the conditions for your own success.
If being taken seriously = no one ever underestimating you, then that’s not reflective of reality. Many people will discount your experience, think you’re incapable, be a hater, or even shut you out of opportunities — but none of that means they’re worthy gatekeepers or that you need for them to change in order to be successful. It’s quite the opposite, you likely need to ignore them and keep going. People are wrong all the time.
Exactly this! “People start taking you seriously when you start taking yourself seriously first.”
You’ve given people so many tools to create conditions for their success. I think that is part of the magic of your work.
Also, I’m putting a post-it at my desk that says “people are wrong all the time” because YES.
And I love your analysis of this trend. I’m also wondering why this is bubbling up right now? What do you think?
Anyway, it all made me think of an extreme example but I’m imagining Beyonce shrinking bc that critic said she’s no Ashanti 20 years ago!! He was entitled to a (bad) opinion but the tragedy would have been letting it become a truth.
Thank you for digging deeper into it with me! I believe the way the workforce is evolving has people scrambling for legitimacy, whether that's inside a corporation to avoid getting laid off or by starting a business. We want the powers that be to see us as valuable so we will be safe. I encourage us to build our own toolkit of what we are good at and care about, which we can use to level up instead of waiting for someone to knight us. External validation feels good, but it's fleeting.
OMG, yes, I will never forget that. That critic was loud and wrong about Beyonce, but she was too busy working to give in to it, and look at her now.
This was a magical read. And Ashley is totally right about ignoring worthy gatekeepers and others’ declarations of your worth or value to become successful. That was my biggest lesson for 2025. People are wrong all the time. Just…deciding they are right (when often you have way more data about your own capabilities or the situation) is one of the biggest mistakes a person can make!!!
Thank you, Ali. “People are wrong all the time” is really sticking with me. It can feel so hard to keep going when it seems like we’re being overlooked or when the gatekeepers aren’t paying attention. But that sovereign belief in our own capabilities is often enough to carry us through. I love seeing people who were once counted out succeed! Proof that stopping would have been the only real loss.
Shelbi this gave me chills
Thank you for inspiring me to write it! 💚
Yes to this
SHELBI! The way I almost brought up Emily's note about "girlboss 2.0" today in our conversation.
Felt deeply so much of what you said here about wanting to feel "legitimate." HOWEVER, knowing you (and with a Brick no less!!!), you'll be courted by legacy companies + hot-on-the-scene newcomers alike in no time.
Excited to watch your evolution!
Thank you, Kayli! So sweet. Our breakfast was the best! Can't wait to see both of us doing everything we've set out to do 💚
I am also team brick and also doing Grace Clark's planner and also about to publish something sorttttttt of similar to this!
Look at us! We are going to have an excellent 2026. I can't wait to read your piece! Also, rooting for you and your husband. Salt's Cure is a big deal!
Stop it you're too sweet! Here she is https://substack.com/home/post/p-183367442
This is so interesting to me because, for so long in my 20s, I wanted to be taken seriously. I was the youngest person to become the editor of my magazine group, and every day I was underestimated by sources, publishers, peers. Now, in my 30s, I don't really care about being taken seriously. In fact, I don't want to be taken seriously at all. It feels exhausting, and like putting on a mask.
There is something to being underestimated and wanting to prove people wrong, but it can be exhausting. I am focused on working hard on the things I actually care about, so I don't even have time to consider who takes them seriously.
Yes!! Exactly