Taking Ourselves Seriously

Stop optimizing for legitimacy. Start committing to what actually matters.

Lately, many women in my life have expressed a desire to be taken seriously.

We’re talking about work, money, and credibility. About whether it’s too late to pivot or too risky to want something else. This is not surprising. We live in a patriarchal society where the phrase “girlboss” exists.

A few days ago, Emily Sundberg posted a note that said, “2026 is going to be excessively girlboss 2.0.” Kate Citron’s response pushed it further. Together, they inspired this letter.

Happy New Year from Chicago!

a photo I sent my bestie from the NYE party at my aunt and uncle’s house

I added it as the final stop on my three-city Christmas tour because I haven’t gone a year of my life without visiting, and somehow I hadn’t been here once in 2025. My maternal grandparents used to live in the suburbs, and I moved here right after college. It holds a special place in my heart.

After time with family and friends in New Orleans, Jackson, Tennessee, and now Chicago, I’m finally heading back to New York this weekend. It’s time to get back to it!

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I’ve been taken seriously for as long as I can remember.

As early as elementary school, people clocked something in me that I hadn’t named yet. Classmates predicted I’d work at a magazine and compared me to Oprah. This started in fourth grade. I didn’t exactly know what it meant. I just knew I wasn’t staying in my suburban Ohio town forever.

At home, my words carried weight. My parents listened to me and treated what I said as worth responding to. A sense of legitimacy was modeled long before I had a degree or a job to justify it. That shaped how I understand my own authority.

Now, more than a decade out of college, my friends and I keep circling the same four questions:

Are we fulfilled?
Are we making the money we want?
Is it too late to pivot?
Do people take us seriously at work?

A few months ago, I was sitting outside in Soho, having dinner with a friend. She told me she’d been spending more time getting familiar with analyzing data at her job. She likes knowing the business details and believes it will help her be trusted more and lead to a promotion. We both wanted that for her.

I’m sure I went into an unhelpful monologue about how legitimacy isn’t tied to her proximity to data. Still, I understand that it felt like the very thing that would lead to her promotion, so I get it.

We started talking about what I think of as “sexy jobs”—the roles that look impressive online versus the ones that make you indispensable behind the scenes. As we get older, judgment enters the chat. Cool starts to get framed as shallow. Serious starts to mean behind-the-scenes.

I reject that sentiment. Interesting and unglamorous work often coexist. Work can be visible, compelling, and still require rigor. I work hard, and I want it to be seen!

That night marked the third time in a few weeks that a girlfriend had mentioned wanting to be taken seriously, without clarity on what that meant for her personally versus what she hoped it would produce.

When we treat seriousness as something to signal instead of something to live, someone else sets the standard. Let’s take our power back.

I quit my corporate job in March after a decade at companies like Meta, Adobe, and Condé Nast. I had a brief panic that people wouldn’t see me as legitimate anymore. I was leaving recognizable brands to build something centered on self-trust, values, and becoming yourself. I was focused on soft skills, with no dashboards to point to.

Here’s the confrontation I want us to have as we head into 2026:

If you know you’re capable, why are you outsourcing your seriousness to institutions, titles, or proximity to people?

Entrepreneurship isn’t a cakewalk. I’ve been living off my savings for the past nine months, supplemented by freelance event production projects. I’ve paid to form an LLC, invested in branding, and just hired a CPA. I’m working more than I ever have. I love being my own boss, but it’s a grind.

We need to believe the problem we’re working on is ours to solve if we’re going to throw our resources and our sanity at it.

It is possible to build credibility by excelling at a corporate job. Not everyone needs to start a company. I would give a lot to be wired to feel truly satisfied with a 9–5. I’m often annoyed that I’m not. The world is changing. When external guarantees are unstable, clarity about what matters becomes non-negotiable.

Achievement is one of my top values. I will succeed, and I hope my work lands. I refuse to believe that seriousness requires misalignment. We don’t need to lean into work that doesn’t interest us or perform competently in areas that aren’t aligned with our strengths.

When we stop measuring ourselves against other people’s timelines, titles, and follower counts, we reclaim focus. Social media gives us too much access and not enough context. A day-in-the-life video doesn’t provide enough information on what’s really going on, but who cares? Let’s keep our eyes on our own papers this year.

We have safe places to put the doubt—friends, group chats, long voice notes—we don’t let it leak into our sense of self. We move through it, and then we keep going.

And when we’re clear on why we’re here, it becomes tough for anyone to derail us.

My goal for 2026 is to keep doing the work. Consistency, agility, and care have a way of compounding, even when results aren’t immediate.

PS: I got a Brick for Christmas, and I am doing Grace Clarke’s 2026 Annual Planning Template this weekend. Watch this space!

I’m so glad you’re here. Let’s keep the conversation going—share your thoughts or send me a message anytime. You can find me on IG or TikTok, or tune into Hi! I’m Here, the podcast.