The Life List
I was just trying to half-watch this movie and then I ended up in tears
Now that Teams meetings no longer anchor me to my desk, I’ve been doing life admin tasks from the couch with a movie or show playing in the background.
Last Wednesday, that emotional support movie was The Life List. I didn’t know anything about it going in. I hovered over the title on Netflix, watched the preview, and thought, “This looks easy to follow. Perfect background noise!”
The movie is based on the book The Life List by Lori Nelson Spielman and follows Alex (played by Sofia Carson), a woman who’s just lost her mom. To receive her inheritance, she had a year to complete a list of dreams and goals she wrote when she was 13. At the start, her life is kind of messy. She’s in a dead-end relationship, doesn’t love her job running marketing at the family company, and isn’t in a good place with her dad. Nothing is going well. Alex revisits her childhood dreams thanks to her mom and is sent down a path of rediscovering herself.
For my movie snobs, Rotten Tomatoes gave it a 47%. I don’t have a Letterboxd account, and I’m not picky, so don’t judge! But The Life List made me think and cry, which is funny considering I was supposed to be half-watching it.
I loved that Alex’s mom, Elizabeth (played by Connie Britton), encouraged her to find a path back to herself. That’s the heart of my work. I want all of us—especially those who never had the space or permission to fully become ourselves as kids—to return or discover who we truly are.
When Alex was 13, she made a list of the things she wanted to do in her life, from “be a great teacher” to “get a tattoo.” It reminded me that we’re often our purest selves as kids before expectations and responsibilities, plus the weight of other people’s opinions start to shape us.
As we age, we make compromises. Life happens, and it can make pursuing those dreams feel trivial. We lose people, our parents age, fall in love, get laid off, and evolve. All of that is real and unavoidable. But even if the timeline shifts or the dreams change, we owe it to ourselves to stay true to what we desire.
My list lives in my Notes app. Here’s a glimpse of what’s on it!
Write a memoir
I’ve wanted to do this since elementary school. I was put here to question old ideas and help people find new perspectives, mainly through storytelling. I want to use my experience to show others they can free themselves from expectations and become who they are.
Learn how to DJ
Geminis have excellent taste—I don’t make the rules! I love curating music for people. You can scroll through my playlists on Spotify. I imagine myself spinning R&B, soul, jazz, hip-hop, and disco in a cozy listening bar. Fun fact: my paternal grandfather was a DJ. So maybe it’s in my blood.
Buy a brownstone in NYC.
New York, specifically Brooklyn, is my home. I want a space where friends and family can always stay, a place to host dinner parties and book clubs. I’m not sure it’s a wise investment; I want it. Picture my house with light, beautiful art, and an obnoxious amount of color. I am not a beige home person, respectfully. I have a whole Pinterest board dedicated to my vision.
Become a great teacher.
This one might surprise you, and yes, I took it straight from the movie. But I mean “teacher” broadly: through my podcast, my writing, public speaking, and social media, I want to teach people how to return to themselves to live authentically and unapologetically.
Go to Coachella.
Maybe it’s not cool anymore, but I don’t care. I love a music festival. Lollapalooza is one I’ve been to the most (I’m from the Midwest). Still, I’ve always wanted to experience Coachella! From the music to the outfits and the brand activations. And, of course, follow it up with a spa day in Palm Springs because I’m not 25. The Coachella episode of Insecure still makes me laugh out loud. I need the experience, minus getting tased!
That’s a glimpse into my Life List. Hold me to it. More importantly, I hope it nudges you to revisit your dreams!
What’s on your Life List? Let me know in the comments!
As always, thank you for reading Define Normal. Please feel free to send me a message to continue the conversation. Otherwise, you can find me on IG, TikTok, or the Define Normal podcast.
I love this so much! I really enjoyed the movie too, and it also caught me off guard because I didn't expect to. Thanks for sharing, and prompting me to think more about what would be on mine! I don't know yet, but it'll come to me :)