Stop Calling Your Life Weird

It’s not strange. It's yours, and it’s the key to connection.

Hi, I’m Shelbi Jones! Define “Normal” is for people in the messy middle of becoming themselves, while navigating change, holding joy and hard things, and figuring out what it means to live as their truest selves. I share personal stories, cultural commentary, and practical reflections to make self-work feel less lonely.

---

Chrissy Rutherford sent a newsletter with the subject line “Thoughts on Living an Unapologetic Life” on Monday, and I opened it immediately. This week, she released a solo podcast episode, and one line stuck with me: “If you act like your life circumstances are weird, then yes, other people are going to think it’s weird.”

That quote hit me because one of my biggest pet peeves is when people “other” themselves. When you insist your life is too strange for anyone else to understand, you build the island you’re stranded on. Self-alignment is not a solo act. The moment you start treating your circumstances like they’re shameful or “weird,” you rob yourself of the chance to meet people who might say I get it. And trust me—they’re out there.

From the outside, my life could look unconventional. I’m 32, I’m from the Midwest, and I’ve built a life in New York that doesn’t match the script I grew up around. I rent an apartment, I’m single, I don’t have kids, I don’t work a corporate job—and yes, I voluntarily talk about myself on the internet. Back home, the milestones look different: by now, I “should” be on my second house, married, with at least one child. But that isn’t my life. And I don’t feel weird. I feel free!

When you claim the life you want out loud, you permit other people to do the same. A friend and fellow creative entrepreneur recently asked if we could hop on a call to discuss Substack and storytelling. During our conversation, she said, “I really appreciate your voice, and there is so much value in what you’re sharing.” I could have cried. It reminded me of why I keep showing up and that we really are in this together.

sporting my 1/1 merch from one of my very supportive besties

I rely on my community and look up to people who dare to carve their own paths and live unapologetically, such as Tracee Ellis Ross, Chrissy Rutherford, and Kendra Austin. They remind me that what looks “unconventional” can actually be expansive, joyful, and full of possibility. (I shared more about this in a Q&A for Ariane Anusbigian’s Girl Crush series this week, which you can read here.)

So, if you’re calling your life “weird,” try reframing it as alignment instead. You might be surprised how many people can relate. And that’s the kind of permission I want to keep giving—and receiving—in this community.

As always, thank you for reading Define Normal. You can send me a message to continue the conversation. Otherwise, you can find me on IG, TikTok, or the Define Normal podcast.